Challenege

I have decided to take the Orange Rhino Challenge to not yell at my kids for a certain amount of time. I haven't decided if it is going to be a month or a few more then that. I would love to do a whole year but I figured I could take it a few months at a time. As I accomplish one month or two and so and so on I figured I could make a new goal to take it to the next level. So I think I might do it for three months. This way I can take the challenge quarterly.I will admit I have gotten really bad at screaming and I can tell that our home isn't as calm as it use to be. I need to restore the balance and give my kids a sanctuary from the awful things that are happening outside our home. They need a place of peace, not a place that they fear. So starting today I choose to stop yelling at my kids. If you want more info about the Orange Rhino Challenge, there is a link on my blog under favorite websites. It is an awesome blog! I will try to post my successes and my set back.

3 weeks!

I have been exercising for three weeks straight. It is awesome. My body is getting tighter, my clothes are fitting looser. I feel better about myself. I love muscle. It looks gorgeous. I am even starting to eat better which is helping. Soon I will be able to get a new wardrobe. Yeah! Go me!

Struggles

Why is it when you try to do your best it seems it is harder to succeed. Satan does his best to attack what little hope we have and I guess we have to hold on tight to what we have to make it through the storm. The only thing that gets me through it is my Heavenly Father. Even when I screw up and scream and yell he never gives up on me. He waits for me to calm down. I have to fight the darkness and God might be there but I have to meet him half way or at least put effort into.

I feel like all I have done in the last 4 years is struggle. I would love to have a breather before I am hit up with another task at hand. I guess it's for my own personal growth but at times I feel that if I get hit with one more thing that I will drown. I can't seem to find balance. I try to balance but it seems all the things I want to do go down the drain. I guess I am just complaining but I need to let my negative thoughts out so that I can make room for new ones that are more positive.

My kids know how to push my buttons and it seems they never let up. I try so hard to be a good mother but they never give me a second to breathe before they hit me with another tantrum or so form of annoyance. Oh I love my kids but I have such a hard time focusing when they whine non stop for days. I am drowning and I can't seem to find my way out. Thanks for letting me whine. It helped.

Best News Ever

I have wonderful in-laws. They are going to take my kids for three days. I am so excited. I can finish up all my painting projects and clean my house and relax and spend time with my husband. I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!

P90X

I am starting P90X next week and I am scared to death. I am not in perfect shape but I believe I will pass the fit test and then will be stepping up to workout so hard. My husband and I will be doing it together which I think it will help because we will both be trying to eat healthy and exercise everyday. We are in the process of preparing for a very intense 90 days. So wish me lucky! If anyone else is starting P90X we can form a support team.

What A Week!

I just quit my job so that I could be a full time mommy again, which is exciting. It also means I will have time to exercise again and to eat better. This has been a long week and I only had the chance to work out once. I needed my sleep this week. But now that it is over I can start up again what I love to do the most. Being a mom and exercising. Heres to a great next week!

Week 1

I tried the hcg diet but it wasn't for me. I got cranky and tired when I couldn't eat much and it was hard to make meals for my entire family when I couldn't eat them. I have decided I am going to lose weight the old fashion way. Eating right and exercising. Sure it will come off slower but it is healthier and it is what I can do.

I have started a program called ChaLean's Extreme. This will be my second time doing it and it is effective. I lost 20 lbs the first time I did this program but then life happened so I got side tracked for a little bit. I was not happy, I was struggling to make it through the day, I wasn't being a good mother, wife, you name it. I had lost my confidence that I had gained over those few short months. I don't know what happened but one day I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I am not sure how I shook the shadows away but whatever it was it feels great.

I have started working out with my husband every morning at 6 am. Having a partner to exercise has helped. Doing it alone is tough, its doable but I have accomplished more this week then I have in a really long time. I also have great friends who walk with me a couple times of the week.

It may be that since my husband doesn't do homework at night anymore I get more sleep, or it might be because I don't have to work on the weekends anymore. It make be a combination of these things but I know this one thing to be true, God has never left my side. I haven't been the nicest lately but he never left. He stayed with me during my dark walk. I could not have survived if it hadn't been for Him. He has guided me to the decisions I have made to be a better mother, a better wife, a better person. I can't remember the last time I have felt the spirit so strongly, then I have this week. It has been a great week. It has reminded me that I am a daughter of God. That is what has gotten through each day. One day at a time.